a real life conversation

this post could also be titled "everything my children know they learned from curious george"

the scene: i was still lying in bed when graham crawled in next to me and cuddled up.  he began to tell me about the curious george episode he just finished watching...

graham: mama, do you know how to make syrup?

me: no, graham, i have no idea.

graham: first you tap a tree.  well you put a hole in a tree and hammer in a tap.  then you let grey stuff drip out and cook it for a long time.  and guess what, there's a secret trick!

me:  what's that?

graham: when you cook it you put butter in the syrup so it doesn't boil over.

me: oh wow!

....

me:  so what kind of tree do you need to tap to make syrup?

graham:  a brown one.

me: a maple tree.

graham:  or a Log Cabin tree.

:-)

harrison's new school

my intent to do a "school morning practice run" of getting up, dressed, fed and out the door by 8:00 am was an epic fail.  i set out the boys clothes last night and told them they had to get dressed before they could go downstairs to watch cartoons.  well, that didn't happen.  i set my alarm for 6:30 so i could get myself ready before going downstairs to start breakfast.  well, that didn't happen either.

what did happen is this: the boys woke up at an ungodly hour and snuck down to the basement.  my alarm went off at a later, but still ungodly, hour and i snoozed it.  at 7:42 am, while i was indeed still lying in my warm, cozy bed, i had an epiphany.

getting up, dressed, fed and out the door by 8:00 am is overrated.

sadly, i am going to have to figure out a way to deal with it anyway.  that's just one of the joys of being an adult.

so, graham goes back to preschool tomorrow morning.  and harrison starts a new school.  i am feeling a combination of emotions - sadness (i'll miss them), happiness (i know they'll have fun and i'll actually have a moment to be alone), concern (how will harrison do?).  overall, though, i am excited to start this semester.  it will be full of new adventures for harrison (kindergarten and STAR therapy) both of which will be very beneficial for him.  

i haven't shared all the details about the decision to quit homeschooling yet.  but because i feel the need to justify my actions to the world, i'll do my best to fill you in.

the summarized version is that we never wanted to homeschool long term.  our goal was always to homeschool for this year and figure out first grade later.  but when all this sensory processing stuff started our first questions were: is it okay that we are homeschooling?...is it detrimental to harrison?  the answers (from three different therapists) were all similar: no, it's not hurting him...he would not learn the things he is "missing" from simply being near or observing other children...yet, it is so good for him to socialize with his peers...if your desire is to put him in traditional first grade, the transition from being at home all day to being at school all day will be a difficult one. 

while those conversations were taking place a neighbor "just happened" to mention that her daughter is in a morning kindergarten class with just ten other kids.  i put "just happened" in quotes because you know i don't believe anything "just happens".  so her comment got my wheels spinning - a morning program, a very small class, i think we should go check out this school!

harrison and i went together to tour the school.  the principal was welcoming and other staff members were so warm and sweet to harrison.  we only briefly met the kindergarten teacher but we got to observe her class for quite a bit.  harrison liked what he saw.  jeremy and i discussed, at length, the options.  then we stopped discussing it and just prayed about it.  ultimately, we asked harrison what he wanted to do.  we gave him a choice:  do school at home or go to public school?

he chose to go to public school.  he WANTED to be at the school with other kids.  his reason?  "it will be more fun". 

now,  do i believe that five year olds can, or should, be the decision-maker in situations like this?  no.  absolutely not.  jeremy and i believe it is our job as parents to do what's best for our children, even if that means our children are unhappy with our choice.  the tricky thing about this situation, though, is that i honestly thought harrison would choose to stay at home.  he is not your typical social butterfly.  far from it.  so the fact that he WANTS to be with other kids is a really.big.deal. 

we need to support his choice!  in fact, we need to encourage it!  we need to jump on it and harness it and monopolize it!  ha! 

i joke (a little bit), but in all seriousness, what we are finding is that if harrison expresses an interest in something we really need to capture his desires and manipulate them in such a way that helps him grow and develop.  he loves to ski?  well, then, we will take him skiing every single weekend.  it has been an AMAZINGLY therapeutic activity for him.  and he has no idea that it's therapeutic, he just thinks he's having a blast!  he wants to go to public school?  well, then, we will use this desire to the best of our abilities, too!

what it comes down to is this: we believe sending him to public school is what's best for harrison at this time.

and that's all the justification we need. 

so, tomorrow is a new day...a new adventure.  yes, i'm nervous about it.  i wouldn't be me if i didn't worry.  and i'm sure they'll be some bumps in the road.  every road has a few unexpected dips and turns.  but...

at least we are headed in the right direction.

and i cannot wait to see where this paths leads.

good morning, monday!

my morning began with a call to poison control.  somehow, during the time after jer left for work and before i got out of bed, graham managed to eat ten cough drops.  thankfully, they were luden's brand which are more candy than cough suppressant and nurse alyssa said he will be fine but may develop a tummy ache.  i hung up the phone and proceeded to lecture the boys regarding the dangers of medicine.  graham cried.  i told him to stop.  i'm such a compassionate mother.

we played around the house this morning with new christmas toys, some of which are more beloved than others.  then the boys got out the ski gear.  harrison strapped on jer's heavy north face backpack and wore it around while they pretended to climb mountains (go up the stairs) and ride the gondola (sit inside our huge grey ski bags).  then they took turns zipping each other completely inside the ski bags.  remember when you were small enough to fit inside a ski bag?  yeah, me neither.  this carried on for more than an hour which proves my point that we no longer need to buy them christmas gifts.  the plain old household stuff wins out every time.  then they put on their helmets and goggles and we went to target.

we were briefly interrupted by our sweet old chinese neighbor who couldn't figure out why her car wouldn't start.  i walked over, tried to start her car and discerned, in all my automotive knowledge, that her battery needed a jump.  i walked back to our garage, buckled up the helmeted boys and maneuvered our car into her garage and proceeded to use jumper cables as if i do it all the time.  then i said a prayer - please don't let me blow us all to smithereens - and cranked the engine.  success!  she and i cheered and hugged like we had just done the impossible and went our separate ways.  but not before she ran inside and brought out a little gift she had brought home from her recent trip back to china.  candy for the boys.  spicy seafood flavor.  which proves my point about why chinese people are so skinny - their candy sucks.  maybe i should introduce her to real candy... like luden's cherry cough drops.

at target my boys rode around in the supersize cart while wearing ski helmets and goggles.  which proves my point that you can take the boys away from the ski slopes but you can't take the ski slopes away from the boys.  or something like that.  and, no, i didn't get a picture.  i'm an idiot.  in fact, i went to target for one very specific reason - to get 3-prong folders for harrison's new school.  i managed to spend fifty-six dollars and get all the way home only to realize i did not buy the dang folders!  which proves my point that i'm an idiot.  and also proves my point that target is quite brilliant at manipulating time and money out of stay at home moms all across america.

i once knew a girl who went to target every day during her three month maternity leave simply because she needed to get out of the house.  and, of course, target is a very welcoming home away from home.  she managed to give target more than a thousand dollars during that period.  my home away from home during my maternity leave was the food network.  i may have grown some inappropriate attachments to their stars but at least it was free.

while were at target the boys asked if i would take them to the lego aisle.  no prob, bob.  we headed that direction and harrison spied one of the lego sets he's been in love with for quite a while, a red airplane.  he said, "maybe i can get a job cleaning people's houses and earn money to buy that lego".  i said, "you want to clean people's houses?"  he said, "yeah.  ya know, helping them with their chores and stuff.  and they will pay me money."  i said, "maybe you can start by cleaning your house and doing your own chores."  he said nothing.  then i said, "you can help me with my chores and i'll pay you money."  he still said nothing.  i guess maybe he thinks it's more fun to clean someone else's house and do someone else's chores.

one other thing happened over the weekend - our mac died.  apparently my incredibly smart computer guy knows how to fix it but he thinks it's only a temporary fix and we should start looking at new models.  i'm currently writing to you from my old ibook g4, which is like taking a trip down memory lane.  this laptop and i have been through lots of fun times!  jeremy bought her for me for my birthday seven years ago.  he also got himself a computer.  for my birthday.  he's so generous.  before he met me, jer was a PC guy all the way.  we always joke that i brought two things to the marriage - a love for apple computers and american express credit cards - and he was forever changed because of it.  for the better, mind you.  he brought something to the marriage too - a love for guacamole - for which i will be eternally grateful.  so, he is now scoping out a new mac for us.  i'll let ya know what transpires.

my boys are just about finished watching a show on pbs (sid the science kid, i believe), which has been the one reason i've actually been able to type in semi-coherent sentences.  i better finish up here quick.  my floors are covered in ski gear, toy dinosaurs and remnants of playdough.  there's laundry in the dryer, washer and piled on the laundry room floor.  there are dishes.  oh, the dishes!  i suppose that proves my point that i, too, think it's more fun to clean someone else's house and do someone else's chores.

i guess i'll just have to pretend i'm someone else.

hmmm.  who should i be?

the boys are upstairs now, sitting next to me.  i asked them who i should pretend to be...

graham says "an astronaut"

harrison says "yogurt"

lord help me.

the eye of the storm

shortly after jeremy and i were married he was called out of town on business.  his company at that time had offices in alpharetta, georgia and he was needed in meetings there.  coincidentally my cousin, lisa, and her family make their home in alpharetta and i had been to stay with them many times over the years as my own work took me to conferences there.  i decided to fly out and meet jer after his meetings were finished and felt comfortable asking my cousin if we could crash at their house for the weekend.  it made for a convenient, inexpensive and fun weekend getaway for two newlyweds with tight purse strings. 

while we were there i remember lisa's husband, russ, casually offering marriage advice.  he commented that in their own marriage he makes all the major decisions and lisa makes all the minor ones.  he went on to add that they had moved to australia, moved to wisconsin, moved back to georgia, had three children (now they have four), and all those events had been small.  nothing major.  basically, it was his way of saying "don't sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff".  (i had to google to find the originator of that quote.  thank you to author richard carlson).  it also may have been russ's way of saying "happy wife, happy life", which isn't necessarily a concept i live by, but it's pretty much true.  just saying. 

and russ was right.  

we've tucked eight years of marriage under our belts since that trip and i feel blessed to be able to say "it's all small stuff".  we've been sailing on smooth waters.  sure we've encountered the occasional rough wave, but no storm has been big enough to cause us to head for shore.

but as i was conversing with a friend recently i made an off-handed comment and after the words left my mouth i had a realization. 

what i said to my friend (and what i realized) is that all our recent decisions have felt like major ones. 

and, boy, am i tired of major decisions.  

it started one year ago, in december 2012, with deciding where to send harrsion to kindergarten, then the decision to homeschool, then having some concerns about him and deciding whether or not to evaluate him, then dealing with those results and deciding how to treat him, then deciding the best way to pay for treatment, and now deciding to send him to public kindergarten and, once again, trying to decide where to enroll him for first grade.

and, just to be really candid with you, since being blessed with the knowledge that our first born has some struggles, every itty bitty daily decision - the ones that are typically no-brainers - has become so heavy, so fraught with worry, so unceasing...it's almost enough to sink the ship. 

the other night as jeremy was kissing the boys goodnight in typical daddy fashion, a simple smooch turned into a five minute discussion involving the whats, whys, and hows of kissing harrison in a way that makes him comfortable.  a different night as we were hosting our neighbors for dinner harrison continually acted out (because he was wanting attention and didn't know how to ask for it, because he was excited our friends were here and didn't know how to handle that overwhelming emotion, because he wanted to be part of the conversation and just didn't know how to do that in a socially normal way.  my poor sweet boy.) which, eventually, caused me to go to bed in tears.  don't even get me started on the "what to make for dinner? what harrison will eat? how do i get more protein in his diet?" dilemna.  and then there's the constant battle of "will this bother him? will that bother him? if so, do we do it anyway (and expect/help him to deal with it)? or do we avoid it all together?"  how much do i tell/inform/prep others about harrison?  how much do i tell harrison about harrison?

the list goes on.

the ship keeps taking on water.

mind you, i am not referring to our marriage.  our marriage is fine.  strong, even, for which i am thankful.  although i can see how having children with illnesses/special needs could, very quickly, negatively affect marriage.  that's another post for another time.  what i am speaking about is my own personal ship.  i feel as though i've been bailing water for far too long and i'm too weary to maintain this pace.  frankly, i'm ready to dock on the sandy beach for a while.  a lounge chair and a fruity beverage would be very much appreciated too.

so while i am trying to think of all this stuff as small stuff...lately, i'm not finding much success.

the thought (and prayers) that gets me through focuses on my beliefs that everything happens for a reason and God is in control.  and there's one other little tidbit that i'm clinging to...someday, i know beyond the shadow of a doubt, that i will look back on this year(s) with another realization.

that we all weathered a storm.

and we kept on sailing. 

a real life conversation

the scene: i sent graham up to his bedroom for being mean to harrison.  i told him he needed to take a break and think about how he's supposed to treat his brother (with love, kindness and respect).  he stayed up there a few minutes and then crept back downstairs.

me: graham, why did you come back downstairs?

graham: because i'm ready to be politeful.

the little rascal is too cute for his own good. 

my own crazy quirks

i was attempting to write a post about harrison and the little things we notice about him that are signs of sensory processing disorder.  i last left off my story here, saying that i would report to you what rachel told us with regard to the issues she perceives harrison to have.  people have been asking me "what does it look like?", "what does he do that's different?".  it's hard for me to answer those questions (for many reasons).  but it is important for me to document them at some point as we have already starting to notice changes in him (as mentioned in this post) and i want to keep a record of where we started and how far we've come.  i'm working on it.

in the meantime i thought i should explore some of my own quirkiness.  i'm not saying my quirks are associated with spd, although i have noted some of my own sensory issues since we've ventured down this path.  rather, these are just the odd things i do...and why not poke a little fun at myself?

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i do weird things.

or things that are perceived to be weird by others.

i'll never forget the time my friend raye noticed the top storage shelf inside my refrigerator door and asked, "what in the world are those?"

they were butter wrappers.

hello, my name is rachel and i save butter wrappers.

after i unwrap a stick of butter i neatly fold the wrapper and place it in the fridge.  when i told her that i keep them so i can quickly and easily butter a casserole dish she looked at me as those i was the craziest person on earth.

i can't be the only one who does this.  don't any other gen x-ers save butter wrappers?

i learned to save them from my parents.  and i know for a fact they (at least my dad) learned to save them from my grandma gladys (his mom).  she always had butter wrappers stored in her refrigerator.  grandma gladys didn't call it "butter" though.  she didn't call it "margarine" either.  she called it "oleo" which was the term for margarine back in her day.  i grew up hearing her say "oleo" and, thus, became familiar with the now extinct term.

this knowledge has come in handy exactly one time in my life.  back in my early twenties i dated a boy.  well, dated might be a strong word.  we flirted, we liked each other, but we didn't go out on dates.  we didn't really go anywhere together.  i was intimidated by him and his worldliness so i pretty much tried to be whomever i thought he wanted me to be.  this resulted in us just hanging out at home a lot and kissing even more.

he loved to do the sunday newspaper's crossword puzzle.  i loved to sit next to him and watch ally mcbeal while he did the sunday newspaper's crossword puzzle.  one sunday he was stumped on a word.  he read me the clue and i knew the answer was "oleo".  turns out i was right which won me bonus points with him and resulted in extra kisses that night.  of course that "relationship" was very quick lived but my love for the term "oleo" has lasted forever.

i save cling wrap too.  and sandwich bags.  and aluminum foil.  i use them until they simply can't be used anymore.  i also save the wax paper lining from boxes of cereal so i don't have to buy wax paper at the store.  i save 32 ounce yogurt tubs.  they are handy for storing leftovers and also make fantastic receptacles for unfortunate car sickness incidents (we never leave home without a former-yogurt-container puke bucket in the car.  get queasy, puke, pop lid on, toss in gas station trash can, get back on road).  i save glass jelly jars and reuse them to make overnight oats.  if you read this post you'll remember that i save cocoa, nut and taco seasoning containers to reuse as kid's activity bins.

it would appear that i am a food storage hoarder. 

the ironic thing about that is this:  i'm not against throwing out the occasional storage container.  in fact, even though we try to recycle as much as possible (because we earn points for doing so.  check out recyclebank.com), i've been known to simply toss an entire bowl, lid and all, instead of cleaning it out.  especially if it's been hiding in the back of the refrigerator and the contents have started to mold.  the problem is my nose and my gag reflex.  i.cannot.open.the.lid.  so into the garbage it goes!  and i have the toughest time cleaning and recycling peanut butter jars.  it has something to do with the feel of the thick, oily peanut butter.  i hate how it sticks to my scrub brush and my hands and my washcloths....so i simply don't bother.  into the garbage they go!

i know.  i have endless guilt.  please don't rub it in.  it gets worse.  

confession time...the most awful thing i've ever thrown out instead of cleaning: a crock pot insert.  the whole ceramic liner.  in the trash.

the depths of my depravity know no end.

so you see all my food storage hoarding is just to ease my guilty conscience of all the food storage crimes i've committed.

it's an attempt to redeem myself in the eyes of mother nature.

surely that makes sense?  right?


i'll continue to tell you about more of the weird things i do.  i can feel how thrilled you are!! 


**updated to add that i also save plastic bread/tortilla/hamburger & hot dog bun bags and reuse them to store ground meat or chicken breasts in the freezer.  and i remembered last night that the only other time i scored bonus points with the aforementioned boy was when we were driving in the car (i guess we did actually go somewhere together) and he randomly started singing "de do do do de da da da" and i joined in by singing "is all i want to say to you".  yup.  major bonus points.  i guess none of his other girlfriends (again, too strong a word...kissing buddies is probably more fitting) knew about the police.  ok.  the end. 

sensory bins - winter theme

back before i ever considered homeschooling i started reading homeschooling blogs.  (i should have taken that as a predictor of things to come).  i stumbled across a few different blogs as i perused the internet (avoiding pinterest because i know how quickly i would become addicted to it) for craft/activity ideas to keep my boys busy.  one blog i have enjoyed is 1+1+1=1.  the author of the blog, carisa, offered fantastic ideas for sensory bins.  after reading through a number of her posts i felt confident in creating my own version.  the process was simple and inexpensive...and the different themes i've created over the past year have kept my boys entertained.  i do not use my sensory bins as a part of our homeschool curriculum, rather i pull ours out and change things up when the boys just need a little something different to keep them occupied.

sensory bins aren't necessarily associated with sensory processing disorder.  (although maybe i should have taken that as a predictor of things to come as well).  i'd venture to say every preschool across america has some sort of sensory table - sand boxes and water tables, tubs full of rice or beans.  i believe the concept is to involve the five senses in children's play time...to allow for hands-on exploration.  my mom, a career preschool/kindergarten teacher, daycare director and, now, trainer for headstart, explained one example to me - that playing with sand, specifically, helps to develop kid's fine motor skills and is a great precursor to handwriting.  there may be direct connections for some of the other common sensory table contents as well but overall when a child plays with a sensory bin their senses are involved in seeing, hearing, feeling and sometimes even smelling the objects with which they are playing.  here's an article that explains the concept a bit more.

since our friend juliana has been coming over to play with us she has seen and played with two different themed sensory bins and commented that she'd like to pass along the idea to the mom of another "friend" she "plays" with.  her comment made me think that posting some sensory bin ideas on my blog may be beneficial.  so ya go!  

this winter themed bin was the very first one i made back in january 2012 and i recreated it again last week.  our beautiful colorado winter weather occasionally offers up days when it's too cold to go outside.  and harnessing little-boy-energy without going outdoors can be tricky.  as you take the lid off the rubbermaid bin you find sandwich bags filled with cotton balls.  homemade snowballs perfect for an indoor snowball fight!  if you squeeze all the air out of the bags those suckers really fly!  i borrowed this idea from harrison and graham's preschool where the annual christmas party always hosts a huge cottonball fight inside the gymnasium.  at ages 5.5 and 4, the "snowballs" are currently my boys favorite part of the winter-themed sensory bin.

this is what you'll find underneath all those cottonball packages.

a bed of white and blue sea glass (purchased at michael's), fuzzy pom poms (dollar store), and large clear glass gems (dollar store).

i always provide some type of bowl and some type of spoon for sorting (or just scooping and dumping).  these particular bowls were from the dollar store, 3 for $1.  the tweezers in the background are learning resources brand purchased at amazon.com a long time ago and the measuring cup is from my kitchen.   

on the other side of the bin i provided different size styrofoam balls (dollar store) and toothpicks for building snowmen or snowflakes.

i always TRY to hold some items back and add them later to maintain interest and excitement in the sensory bin.  this week i added two different size white pom poms that were left over from another craft project.  they were purchased at michael's. 

here's graham, in his knight costume, having fun with the sensory bin.

other sensory bins themes i've created over the past year (and will post about as i recreate them in the year to come): valentine's bin, construction bin, easter bin , gardening bin, fourth of july bin , straws and scissors bin, outer space bin, build-a-monster bin.

i hope this post encourages you to put together a sensory bin for your home!  i'm very thankful i stumbled upon carisa's website and took the time to learn about this great play idea!


**updated to add i have submitted this post to the spd blogger network.