things graham said

graham has the sweetest personality. he says some really great things. all these photos are from november 2019 while graham and i were killing time at the ski shop in boulder, colorado, waiting for his skis to be tuned. he's so much fun to be around.

last night as i was tucking graham into bed...

graham:  mommy, thank you.

me:  you're welcome, buddy. thank you for what?

graham:  everything.

on february 10, 2020; out of the blue...

graham: when i grow up i'm going to have four kids and i'm going to name them scott, caleb, preston and gabe.
me: what if you have girls?
graham: 😳

on a covid-19 time capsule worksheet i asked him to fill out there was a letter he wrote to himself. i told him to think about it as if he was thirty and he was looking back at this time capsule. what do you want to tell yourself? 

he wrote...

"this is what i want you to do: pray more, get baptized, marry well."

quarantine questionnaire

to kill a little time during the covid-19 shelter in place mandate, i asked the kids these questions:

Graham, age 11

Harrison, age almost 13

1. If you won a million dollars, what would you buy?  

Graham: a gaming room, like Dude Perfect’s

Harrison: all the supplies I’d need to make a 14-foot scale model of New York City

2. How long does it take to get to California? 

Graham: 18 hours and 15 minutes

Harrison: a good 12 hours. no, make it 16

3. What does Mom always say to you? 

Graham: i love you. unload the dishwasher.

Harrison: do your school work. get in the shower. goodnight white boys.

What does Dad always say to you?

Graham: hugs and kisses. hook it. 

Harrison: you gotta pay the toll. rinse your dishes. where’s the bloody ice cream?

   

4. What job would you like to do when you get older?

Graham: zoologist or join the air force

Harrison: mechanical or chemical engineer

  

5. What is the capital of the United States? 

Graham: there is none 😳

Harrison: Washington DC

6. Where do babies come from?

Graham: i’m not going to answer that

Harrison: mommies and daddies 

  

7. How old is Mom? Dad?

Graham: 43 and 42 and 9/10

Harrison: 43 and 42 (43 in July)

8. If you could change one rule our family has, what would it be? 

Graham: watch tv all day for two days a week

Harrison: that you can’t punish us ever, like send us to our rooms or take away or tv time. no consequences. 

Graham: there’s gotta be consequences. if there’s no consequences you won’t be a good person. 

Harrison: i am a good person.

Graham: that’s because you have consequences, harrison. 

9. If you could be a superhero, what superpower would you have?

Graham: invisibility and walking through things like a ghost

Harrison: teleportation or telekinesis

10. What would you do to save the planet?

Graham: have no fossil fuels

Harrison: robot domination! or everybody moves to Mars

11. If you could eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? 

Graham: pizza as the entree, ice cream cake for dessert, tiny pb&j sandwiches and donut holes for appetizers

Harrison: Raising Cane’s Caniac combo, and a cookie cake with frosting for dessert

12. How much does it cost to buy a house?

Graham: depends on how big the house. a million. well, is it like a mansion? 

Harrison: if i had it my way it’d be a mansion and i’d get it for free. or for 3 small payments of $19.99

13. Why do you think we should be nice to each other? 

Graham: because i’m a nice person

Harrison: because society says it’s mean to be rude to each other, and if you defy society they put you in jail. 

Mom: guys, what about what jesus teaches about kindness?

Graham: oh yeah!

Harrison: because god says so

14. What does love mean to you?

Graham: oh gosh. um...comfort. 

Harrison: kissing. kissing is associated with love. kissing is gross. therefore love is gross. 

Mom: what fallacy is that? 

Harrison: whole-to-part

Mom: so do you want to amend your statement? 

Harrison: no

15. What are you scared of? 

Graham: ocean

Harrison: being surprised from behind and failure

16. What is important to you? 

Graham: my woobie (his special blanket)

Harrison: air, food, water, lola (our dog), that’s it 

it's been four years

the last time i documented our lives on this blog harrison was nine, graham was seven, and neither jeremy nor i had reached our forties. i quit writing for several reasons. life became busier, my responsibilities at work increased, we switched to an online school which required more of my time at home. mostly, though, i became aware of how our children were growing and wanted to be more careful about writing about them. especially regarding harrison's sensory processing issues.

however, harrison has recently begun asking questions. he's trying to understand more about who he is, and how he fits in to the world. one afternoon while he and i were walking winslow, one of the dog's harrison walks for his dog care business, i mentioned i had kept a blog about our experience with sensory processing disorder. i told him i'd tried to find my old blog posts so he could read them. when i opened the blog both boys began reading, laughing, and reminiscing.

they asked me to start blogging again.

i told them it's important that they understand this blog is MY perspective of our lives. they may remember things differently. they may want to write their own version of our everyday moments. even so, one thing i know for sure is that it has all gone by, and is going by, faster than i'd like.

documenting these days, months, years is a gift i'd love to give our two sweet sons.

a mothers day message

i am so thankful i get to be their mom

she saw me through the car window, then spontaneously opened the passenger side door. i smiled politely from the driver’s seat, surprised by this bold stranger who seemed intent to deliver a message, concerned that perhaps i hadn't navigated the school drop-off line correctly. reaching for my hand and clasping it in both of hers, she gently said thank you. i lifted my sunglasses to the top of my head, wanting her to see she had my full attention. with now tear-soaked cheeks, in a quivering voice, she cried, thank you for raising up your boys to be so respectful and well-behaved. i don’t know what you’ve done but your kids are amazing.

i thanked her but attempted to rebuff the compliment if you came home with us you’d see they aren’t quite the gentlemen you think they are. she persisted and shared that her own son is one of the tough kids in the 3rd grade class.

i had received previous praise regarding what sweet boys harrison and graham are, but this time was different. what impacted me about this brief conversation wasn’t the kind things this beautiful woman said to me, it was her BRAVERY. i have frequently seen her at the school - she’s a mama who shows up for her son. her son isn’t quite like the other kids - she’s a mama who loves her son no matter what. through tears and pain she encouraged me - she’s a mama who chooses to speak life into others. 

i drove toward home praying for this incredible mother who took the time to express gratitude and share her story with me. it’s the prayer i have for every mom, for every woman - let us stop comparing ourselves to others, let us be KIND to ourselves, let us recognize the good in ourselves and our children, let us celebrate all the amazing strengths we find in each other, let us find a sister who will hold us up as we deal with difficult times, let us keep showing up every.single.day to mother ourselves, our kids & each other, let us see ourselves as the brave heroes we are, let us choose joy & life & love…even when it’s hard.

to each of the lovely women in my life - those who are moms and those who are not - i send you love today.

happy mother's day

real life conversation...about brotherhood

the scene:  while sitting at the breakfast bar eating a snack; out of the blue.


graham: life is so disappointing.

me: (chuckling) really? why is life so disappointing?

graham: always having to take care of my older brother.

me: (no longer chuckling)

the bible says "how good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity."

lately i question the balance between the good and the pleasant...

the things that don't feel good nor pleasant...

and the unity that can be found between the two. 

graham truly has been gifted with the unique ability to read a situation and adjust it to meet harrison's needs. this intuitiveness is special and will serve him well his whole life long. 

conversely, graham has become harrison's guide - looking out for, standing up for, speaking on behalf of, leading the way for, a comforting sidekick - starting when he was very little (younger than two). a job he took on himself and one i, admittedly, placed him in a few times too many. 

what does a mother do when her son expresses discouragement that his gift has become a burden?

 schedule counseling appointments then write a blog post, of course. :)

 ponder it; put the question out into the universe and pray for an answer. 

 sit with him in life's disappointment. 

 teach him to think on the positive aspects of his relationship with his brother. 

show him unity isn't a treasure to be found...

it is beauty we must create.

a real life conversation

me: you have rockstar hair, bud.

g: that's what i'm gonna do when i grow up.

me: what? be a hairstylist or a rockstar?

g: no, just be a regular man. no job. no college.  then i'll have my hair like this and walk around.

me: then what will happen?

g: maybe a girl will see me and walk up to me.

me: then what?

g: she might ask to be my girlfriend.

me: what will you say?

g: no. but maybe if she begs me too much i will say yes.

me: but what are you going to do for money?

g: i'm not going to have any money. i'm just gonna play video games.

me: and that's it?

g: yeah.

new house photos - entry, guest bed & bath, hall, dining room, and a couple more

i cleaned up the dining room today so to celebrate here are a few more unedited pictures of the interior...


view of the formal dining room from the kitchen:

the dining room is round. i'm not sold on keeping this rug in here especially because i think it would be too small once a table is in the room. if anyone would like to donate a round table and chairs to the white family i'll be your best friend forever:

a peak of the kitchen from the dining room:

the staircase is across from the dining room. real life = dirty clothes on the stairs and vacuum cleaner at the ready all the time:

entry. i had to stand outside to get enough light behind the camera in order to get this shot. the house is dark and difficult to photograph because the ceilings are so tall thus the canned lighting is too high to truly illuminate the rooms:

oh hello lamp cord, bare bulb and empty wall (it's a work in progress). that little window with the wrought iron is part of our wine room, which is waaaaay too dark to photograph. but i'll try someday. because i love you:

here is our huge iron door and my homemade "no solicitors" sign. we had three people a day knocking, welcoming us to the neighborhood, then trying to sell us stuff. annoying:

in the hallway, a place to keep all our files:

the guest bathroom:

i set out a few candles and hung paintings the boys made:

the guest bedroom with pillows that will eventually go on the bed:

the room has a large, lovely window:

a view of the hall from the opposite direction. the french doors lead to jer's office with the guest bathroom and bedroom beyond:

a straight-on view of the living room (and backyard) from the hall. hard to photograph but you can see the whole back wall of the house is windows. i'm considering keeping them bare, no curtains. we'll see.  off to the right you can see the eat-in area of the kitchen with chandelier:

y'all are motivating me to continue getting things put away - thank you!!