sensory bin - outer space theme

here is an idea for creating an intergalactic sensory bin.

 fill a bin with black beans.

 add some swirly metallic marbles (dollar store).

 add some large black pompoms (dollar store).

 add some small silver tinsel-y pompoms (dollar store).

 add a few silver dish scrubbers (target's dollar spot).

 add some glow in the dark stars (i have no idea).

 add plastic planets (these from amazon).

 that looks a bit like outer space, right?

 now add some astronauts and space vehicles (these from amazon).

and you're done. 

confession: my boys are slowly but surely outgrowing these sensory bins. i have been attempting to create themes that might still interest them. we have quite a few space-themed toys around the house so i designed this bin more as a jump-start for their imagination, to accompany the toys they like playing with. both the boys have played with this bin for short periods of time and enjoyed it. i have to chuckle though because graham's idea of playing has been to remove everything except the beans and SIT inside the bin.

perhaps he's launched himself to the moon? and the moon is inside the bin?

your guess is as good as mine.

i cannot tell you how many times i've said, "graham, why are there black beans all. over. the. rug.?" 

so it goes with sensory bins.

heck, so it goes with graham!

what we've been up to lately

just some random things...

jeremy snapped this photo while i was driving home from the mountains one sunday last month. it's safe to say that was our worst drive this winter as far as visibility was concerned. total white out. it was immediately after this photo was taken that i completely blocked a fire vehicle from getting through because although i could hear his siren i had no idea he was directly behind me. even his flashing lights weren't powerful enough to cut through that blowing snow.  (the worst drive time-wise i had took 3 hours, 40 minutes. jeremy got stuck in a 5-6 hour long driving fiasco because of a random shooting that took place on i-70 which completely closed down the highway for investigation. our best drive time so far has been 1 hour, 8 minutes).

 then we reached a clearing and graham yelled out "bighorn sheep!" can you see them?

this was at beaver creek over president's day weekend.

last week the weather was lovely after school so the boys and i walked to the park to hit some golf balls.

another day after school, playing at the park with our friend addy.

my mom and dad came for a visit over president's day weekend. we bundled up and stood outside watching the boys ski at beaver creek.

the best shot of the bunch.

graham with an ice pack wrapped around his head. could he be any cuter?

 my mom snapped this one of jeremy and me at beaver creek. love.

treehouse - an update on the loft

all photos in the post are unedited because this lady does not have time to edit photos. some images were taken with my good camera. most were captured with my phone. some are really, really dark because the space just does not get much natural light. all that to say, the pictures aren't perfect...but you'll still be able to see the progress. enjoy!

this is the only true before photo i have of the loft. unfortunately, i didn't get a shot of the king bed, two twin beds, shelving units, dresser, ceiling fan, fake plants, television, crazy artwork, two tables and four chairs (or was it six?) that were brought down from the loft and either donated or taken to the dump. shame.

here's harrison in the empty loft. oh, i DID get a shot of the television! this picture gives you an idea of how pitched the ceiling/roof line is.

 

here is the carpet that was removed from the floor piece by piece, rolled and taped for easy trash collection.

here's the bare floor.

 here is the floor after it was sanded. it was a HUGE improvement!

some furniture had to be brought back up to the loft so jeremy, meme & papa had a place to sleep while the downstairs was all torn up. at this point the floor had been sanded and a sealant was applied. the king bed in the photo was brought up from the master bedroom. i bought that 14" tall bed frame so we would have storage underneath. eventually, we removed the box springs. it was crazy trying to climb up into that bed at night!!

 here is the 10x14ft natural jute rug meme & papa hauled up to the mountains for me.

here's the rug in the space. do you see that small metal bucket behind harrison? i attached a pulley system to the ceiling so the boys could raise and lower that bucket from the living room to the loft. i need to get a photo of that to show you. they love it!!

still trying to figure out the best furniture placement.

 i wanted the space to be a place where the boys can play but that also felt relaxing for jeremy and me.

this photo shows you the true colors of the bedding - grey, green, burgundy, white and black. a mix of gingham, stripes, solids, plaids and pattern (in the sheets). the bed has now been moved to the right to accommodate a dresser in the corner of the room, which also makes for a more open "entry" at the top of the stairs.

the next images are from this past weekend. i think the loft is complete except for hanging a few things on the walls.

boys' play area.

we finally have lamps that work! and dressers! and seating!

 the very cozy bed.

in case you are interested there flannel sheets, a quilt and a down comforter on that bed. there are also fifteen pillows. three were made by jer's mom. two were made by mine. the owl pillow was bought (by my mom) at a precious little antique shop inside an old white barn in iowa. it's made from an old men's work shirt. the boys have nicknamed him barney.

they wanted to call him hooter but i vetoed that choice.

barney loves his loft. 

happy birthday to me

yesterday was my birthday. the big 3-7. it was an interesting day.

the morning began terribly. there was fighting amongst siblings and between spouses. basically everyone in the house was unhappy. this culminated in me carrying one of my sons to the car while he kicked me and hit me and begged me to let him stay home from school. actually carrying is too simple a word. dragging might be more appropriate. using every ounce of my strength to get him into the vehicle without hurting him is spot on.

it was a rough start.

a friend who kindly coordinated a preschool-moms play date didn't make it to the preschool-moms play date because she got stuck at costco.

i got a birthday card in the mail, went to open it and found it to be already opened and the card was no longer inside!

i think i'll move to australia.
(kudos to anyone who knows where that line comes from).


but here are some good things that happened:

1) while i was carrying my out-of-control son to the car i did not lose my cool. i was able to continually whisper "i love you, it'll be okay". thank you jesus. and he did calm down and had an excellent day at school. thank you jesus again.

2) i had a lovely time with the preschool moms who were able to meet me for a walk outside in the beautiful sunshine. and i wore a glittery pink birthday crown. and i got a rain check from the friend who couldn't make it.

3) on the drive home from preschool graham whistled along with the radio. it made me smile so much my cheeks hurt.

4) i texted my friend debbie, the sender of the unexpectedly empty envelope. she made me smile even in spite of the missing card.

5) jeremy picked up the most delicious carnitas tacos in the world from our favorite mexican cantina. I DID NOT HAVE TO COOK DINNER!

6) my dad and mom sent me birthday cash that arrived inside a still-sealed envelope and they called me just to chat.

7) i got many thoughtful facebook messages, texts and emails.

8) my boys gave me birthday cards and balloons they picked out all on their own. harrison's card had a picture of dogs roasting smores over a campfire on the cover. graham's card had a picture of a raccoon holding a bag of money on the cover. and, funnily enough, my dad's card had a picture of a monkey dressed in drag on the cover. what does it all mean??

9) the boys got me a sweet treat from coldstone. they stuck a candle in it and sang to me. we had a fun evening as a family that included an impromptu dance party in the living room. after the kiddos went to bed, jeremy and i cuddled on the couch while watching the final episode of boardwalk empire.


the day ended peacefully. it was just like any other day - a mixture of the good, the bad and the ugly. at 37 it's not about perfect days anymore. it's not about perfect anything, really. perfect body, perfect image, perfect marriage, perfect children, perfect house, perfect life, perfect days - at 37 i am wise enough to know none of that is real. 

these days i find the sweet spot in life can be found by soaking up one or two incredible moments that take place within the chaos (or even the monotony) of the day. today i scooped up more than my fair share of beautiful moments worth remembering. i am a very lucky girl. 









 

thursday things that made me think

so last week my shrink told me i think too much.

sigh.

and you know what that made me do?

it made me think about how much i think!

my friend chelsea suggested that perhaps i just have too much time on my hands.

and guess what.

i THINK she might be right. ha!

but in all seriousness, it's become painfully obvious to me in recent months that i am different from most people. i do think too much. i believe my therapist is trustworthy when he says i ponder things more deeply than the average person. the ironic thing about that is that all this time, all these years, i didn't think i was thinking enough. i thought everyone else was thinking about things way more than i was. i faulted myself for not taking particular stances or positions or sides on topics like many of my friends did when, truthfully, i was expending more brain energy on thinking about how i wasn't formulating opinions than they were on actually formulating opinions.

welcome to my brain.


so here are my favorite thought-provoking finds from around the web this week...

i think THIS would be a super cute and super easy breakfast, lunch or dinner for st. patty's day!

i think THIS idea to clear out forty bags of house clutter during the forty days of lent is inspiring.

i think i'm probably one of THESE. are you?

and THIS just tore my heart out and made me think about how blissfully unaware i am and how i need to start learning some names!


happy thursday!

the rules to follow when you make a mistake

whether big or small, they happen. it could be speaking before we think. it could be rear-ending the car in front of us. it could be taking something that doesn't belong to us, forgetting to pay a bill, refusing to follow through on a promise, "accidentally" hitting our brother, or hurting a friend's feelings. no one - absolutely no one - is immune from making mistakes or immune to the shameful feelings that accompany mistakes.

it's imperative to know, and teach our children, the rules to follow when we've done something wrong. as juliana padilla (occupational therapist extraordinaire) texted, "the rules about mistakes are more important than making one."

rule #1 - if we make a mistake we have to try to fix it. 

this could be a simple as offering a heartfelt apology. it might mean confessing to something. it might mean paying to replace something. it might mean working to regain someone's trust. in most situations, mistakes can be fixed. often fairly easily.

rule #2 - if we make a mistake we have to learn something from it. 

many - not all, but many - of my own mistakes have taught me to stop being so quick to judge others; to remember that every human being is worthy of respect and kindness. last year i made one of the moms at my son's school angry because i kept parking in the handicap parking space. she confronted me and i apologized. i took it a step further the next day, bought her a small gift (a peace offering, i called it) and gave it to her along with another sincere apology. ultimately, what i learned is that she has a disability that requires her to park in the handicap space. although i thought i had just annoyed her with my bad behavior, what i really did was deeply offend her because, by taking her parking space, i was a glaring reminder of her disability (one with which she was having difficulty coming to terms). she was fighting a hard battle and i was making it worse for her. i learned a great deal from that one mistake, mostly that i would much rather live my life in a way that makes life easier for others, not harder.

rule #3 - if we make a mistake we have to talk about it.

i honestly believe this is the most important rule of the three. here's why: talking about our mistakes connects us to each other, which, in turn, helps us see and understand that we are all human, all capable of failing, all working to fix things and all learning how to do better next time. we are all in this together! if we don't talk about it, the myth of perfection - the one that says it's actually possible to not make mistakes - will continue to hold court over us and humans aren't made to stand up under that kind of pressure. 

lisa bolster, a marriage and family therapist at STAR center, taught me that there is actual physical brain chemistry that changes when we talk about our mistakes. our response to experiences takes place in the amygdala, the part of the brain that chooses fight, flight or freeze mode. the amygadala registers emotions or sensations that surround life events such as fear, anger or even joy. "the amygdala is also responsible for determining what memories are stored and where the memories are stored in the brain. it is thought that this determination is based on how huge an emotional response an event invokes," (regina bailey, about.com). however, when we talk about a life event, especially one that carries with it strong feelings as mistakes often do, a piece of that "data" transfers from the amygdala to the hippocampus. the hippocampus is the portion of the brain that handles long-term memory storage. the special thing about this transfer of memories from short-term to long-term, from amygdala to hippocampus, is that each time we talk about our mistakes the strong emotions surrounding those mistakes fade away, ultimately allowing us the memory without the fight, flight or freeze panic associated with it.  if we don't talk about it, we will never completely heal from it.

in her book i thought it was just me (but it isn't), brene brown writes about the brain chemistry associated with shame (the painful feeling of "i'm not good enough"). on page 28 she writes, "there's new brain research that is helping us understand that shame can be so threatening that, rather than processing it in the neocortex - the advanced part of the brain that allows us to think, analyze and react - shame can signal our brains to go into our very primal fight, flight or freeze mode." i found this quote fascinating!! shame is processed in the amygdala. guess what ms. brown's research shows to be the key to combating shame: vulnerability! how do we be vulnerable? by talking about things! we have to be open and honest and share our struggles. we have to talk about our mistakes in order to eradicate the painful feelings associated with them.

i witnessed this occur within harrison last week. he made a mistake at school and beat himself up for it. he told me, "i've been hating myself all day." he was hating himself instead of hating what he had done, a dangerous difference. when i told him he is a good and kind boy who just made a mistake he burst into tears, not believing me. since that day we've had many conversations about mistakes. i shared these rules with him. the more we've talked about it, the easier it has become for him to talk about. the more we've talked about it, the easier it has been for him to believe he's just like the rest of us - a sweet boy who said an unsweet thing. the more we've talked about it, the less he's been hating himself, the less shame he's felt. the more we've talked about it, the more he understands no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. eventually he became comfortable enough to help someone else; harrison consoled graham as he tried to cope with the yucky feelings caused by his own mistake.

my personal motto, adapted from socrates, is "an unexchanged life is not worth living". we have to share the things we are learning. by courageously exchanging our stories, admitting our faults, sharing our ideas, and talking about what we are learning in this crazy life we will create a world for ourselves filled with people who see us just as we are and love us just as we are. 

that's the very best feeling in the world! 

a feeling that might look something like this:

if making a few mistakes, trying to fix them, learning from them and talking about them is what we have to go through to get to a place of sheer happiness, i say it's very much worthwhile. 

the latest life things

the news from our house...

1) both harrison and graham are scheduled to have their tonsils and adenoids removed on friday, march 21st. i requested a referral for them to see an otolaryngologist because harrison has had strep throat four times in four months and graham has had it three. they both snore and their tonsils are ginormous. also, for graham, his nasal passages are blocked and he constantly has to puff air out his nose so he can breathe through his nose (or he just breathes through his mouth, which i think it gross). he's getting an extra little procedure to decrease some nasal tissue. fun times, no?

2) last week harrison made a mean comment to a classmate, was reprimanded by his teacher (in an appropriate way) and apologized for what he said. it was a traumatic experience for him, one which sent him into sensory overload. he held it together all day at school but as soon as i picked him up i could see something was wrong. he looked absolutely exhausted. he started throwing a fit on the way home because graham kept talking and all the talking was making harrison crazy. as soon as we pulled into the garage harrison climbed forward and wedge himself on the floor of car, in front of the passenger seat, under the glove box. i immediately texted his teacher to say "what the heck?" and she described what happened.

i had to explain to his teacher that it was ALL THE FEELINGS that overwhelmed harrison (she was confused about what might have caused his meltdown).

think on it for a moment. how do you feel when you've hurt someone's feelings? when you've disappointed your teacher? when you did something wrong? had to humble yourself and apologize? those feelings are yucky. and when you are over-responsive to emotions, those yucky feelings are amplified. and when your brain continually replays the event inside your head and you focus on those amplified yucky feelings all day long, there is no option left but to freak out when you get home. if you or i went through something like that we'd go get a beer or glass of wine (or chocolate in my case) and wash those blues away. all harrison wanted to do was curl up into a tight space and squeeze those feelings away. my sweet boy.

3) yesterday morning graham took four pennies from the grocery store's horsey ride. (does your grocer have a one cent horsey ride?) i didn't find out about it until late afternoon when he pulled the pennies from his pocket. i gasped and watched his little face change as he immediately realized he had done something wrong. (or maybe he realized he was caught doing something wrong. either way, there was a realization).

i had to explain to him "do you know what it's called when you take something that does not belong to you? it's called stealing. you stole that money."

then both my boys started crying. sigh.

what was interesting about this event was 1) having just made a mistake a few days prior, harrison was able to console graham and even said, "i know how that feels. it'll get better". it was a full circle moment for harrison. i was proud of him. 2) it conjured up a vivid memory and the associate emotions from a time when i stole a pair of earrings from a hospital gift shop and was made to return them. it would seem thievery runs in the family. 3) watching graham return those pennies and apologize to the store manager this morning was a tough mommy moment for me.


i have learned a lot in the past week.

i have learned that serious life lessons apparently start at age five.

i have learned some rules about mistakes, which i passed on to my boys.

i have learned that it's very easy to do the wrong thing. one doesn't have to go looking for trouble. trouble is right there, everywhere, waiting to be noticed.

i have learned that doing the right thing is really hard.

even for an almost 37 year old wife and mom of two.