the denver zoo - our visits throughout the years

the denver zoo is one of our very favorite places to go. i took the boys yesterday for the first time in a long while and we had a lovely morning there. i commented that it was so nice to walk around without pushing a stroller, carrying a diaper bag, or holding one of them on my hip. i put my phone, cards and keys in my wallet and was completely hands-free the whole time! so much has changed since we became zoo members five years ago.

june 2014, looking at the polar bear exhibit

september 2010, looking at the polar bear exhibit

june 2014, standing on the fence

september 2010, standing on the fence

harrison, june 2014, in the penguin house

 september 2012

october 2011

may 2011

september 2010

graham, june 2014, in the penguin house

september 2012

october 2011

may 2011

september 2010

my favorite photo from our trip to the zoo yesterday:

one of my all time favorite photos from our many, many trips to the denver zoo:

how we love

source

jeremy and i had a counseling session a couple months back in which i sorta kinda freaked out.

i knew i had sorta kinda lost it because after i finished yelling and waving my hands, but while i was still crying and blowing my nose, i looked up and realized jer had gotten real quiet and our doctor had gotten real calm and it hit me...when you let outsiders (in this case a professional therapist) in on the brutally honest moments it's sorta kinda embarrassing!

but after embarrassment fades you begin to discover that healing thrives in brutal honesty.

my rant and jeremy's reaction to it allowed our psychologist to truly see for the first time the pattern that exists within our relationship. before we left his office that day the doctor suggested we read the book how we love by milan & kay yerkovich, a book about marriage and how our current relationships are affected by the imprints we received during childhood. the book does not focus on blame for the way we were or weren't raised, it simply helps us to see why we love the way we do.

and how we can fix it. ha!

i bought the book that afternoon, dove in as soon as it arrived on my doorstep, but stopped dead in my tracks at the beginning of chapter two. you see the authors base their premise about marriage relationships on one question. it's a question that kept me from opening the book again for nearly one month.

can you recall being comforted as a child after a time of emotional distress?

...

what's your answer?


how you answer that question, along with other information about your childhood, will place you into one of five categories. as it turns out i am a vacillator and jeremy is an avoider.

"when these two imprints collide, avoiders constantly feel in trouble for disappointing their spouse. the passionate connection and intense good feelings of the early relationship are replaced by the vacillator's anger, hurt and disappointment that comes as 'real life' sets in. avoiders retreat and take care of themselves just like they've always done. while avoiders are learning to deal with their feelings, vacillators are devastated when the connection is lost. they feel abandoned as they discover the avoider's inability to connect. initially willing to work hard to get the avoider to respond and engage, vacillators become increasingly angry when they see the avoider is incapable of providing the consistent connection they desire."

that is exactly us.

that is our pattern, played over and over again in many different way throughout our nearly ten years together. 

we are working hard to change our imprints and our patterns.

it's a brutal, honest, reallyreallygood process where healing is growing.


i've written more than i intended to here. the initial point of this post was to encourage you to buy this book. our psychologist believes it will really help jeremy and me and although i have not finished it (i'm digesting it slowly) i highly recommend it too. i think it would be an excellent resource for any person in a relationship whether they are struggling or not. i am fascinated by the concept of "why we do the things we do" and this book has been a huge help - a jeremy & rachel owner's manual? - in finding out some of the causes for the effects we've noticed within our marriage.

it might be a great owner's manual for some of you out there too.

summer 2014 - week one

we had some fun this week, we were a little bit productive this week, we were sometimes lazy this week...all in all, we are par for the course. :-)


hamburgers and french fries for dinner. the boys turned their fries into:  a) a road  b) a bowling alley c) a boundary their brother wasn't allowed to cross? if you chose "c" you are correct. fyi: playing with food is totally allowed in our house! we roll cucumber slices across the table, we make letters with strips of red pepper, we put grapes in our mouths and see who can spit them the farthest. playing with food is an excellent, non-pressure way to get your kids to actually eat the food!

this is what the boys did while we waited to have two new tires put on our car...

graham with my sunglasses on upside down...

 graham with my sunglasses on upside down four years ago. oh my goodness the cuteness...

 a chocolate pudding snack outside...

a game of "toss the sponge". i got this idea from a link someone posted on facebook. thank you, someone! and, yes, graham is wearing my winter boots. (cost = $1 for sponges from dollar store)

my book for the week, emily giffin's the one & only. i enjoyed it!

the boys' read-aloud book for the week. we just finished chapter six and have laughed out loud many times. we'll finish it this weekend.

 source

a marble run made from a pool noodle ($1 from dollar store). another idea from this link.

first time making tuna nicoise salad minus the nicoise olives because, ew, olives are gross. i loved it. jer not as much but he still ate the whole thing because he's sweet like that.

one thing i didn't photograph: our trip to the park where we picnicked with our friends from preschool. we have to just enjoy some moments instead of worrying about capturing them, right?

right.  :-)

thursday things that made me think

it's been quite some time since i've posted links. here are some things i think are worth sharing...


the idea of raising my kids with a minimalist mindset is dreamy to me. often times i think i should declare a moratorium on presents (toys) in favor of receiving an experience (a class, a membership to the zoo, etc).

i've seen this video posted on facebook a couple times. solar roads, playgrounds, parking lots? makes sense to me!

it was interesting to read this article about the habits of those who don't worry. i pretty much do the exact opposite of them. i'm working on it!

the spd foundation emailed out a link to this washington post article which features dr. lucy jane miller, founder of STAR center. so much more acceptance and understanding needs to evolve with regard to sensory processing disorder, it's affect on children and families and how occupational therapy really does make a difference.

my favorite cookie recipe! they are completely grain free (only uses almond flour and coconut flour) and refined-sugar free (only uses honey and coconut sugar) and they are gooooooood! if you're new to buying almond and coconut flour, look in the bulk bins at your grocery store where it's often 1/2 the cost of pre-packaged. coconut sugar can be found in the baking aisle right next to the regular sugars.
 
for locals: here is 5280 magazine's list of "supersecret restaurants, vistas, hikes, attractions, and quirky, only-in-Colorado experiences you probably don't know about—but should"


happy thursday, friends!

a real life conversation

this is a photo i took in florida last summer. it's not california, but it'll do.

the scene: while i was in my bathroom brushing my teeth and the boys were supposed to be in their bedroom getting dressed something happened that involved running, chasing, hitting and yelling.



harrison: i hate you! i wish you weren't my brother!

graham: oh yeah?! well you're moving to china!

harrison: well you're moving to california!

graham: no you're moving to california!



this is precisely the moment i made a wish that i could move to california.

the end.

a tribute to our teachers

 teacher sherry and teacher mary, fletcher miller preschool

we have been so very blessed by the preschool teachers who have cared for and taught our boys.

harrison started preschool when he was three and graham, who was 18 months old at that time, came along for every drop-off and pick-up until it was finally his turn to actually attend class. teacher sherry and teacher mary have been a constant in all our lives for the past four years! they have had such a positive influence on the boys. they have invested time, energy, love, care, concern and discipline...and have created so many fun moments in the lives of the boys, memories to be cherished.

sherry and mary both excel at seeing the heart of each child, building on their strengths and gently encouraging them where they are weak. they love each of their students individually, make every one feel special, always allowing them to feel comfortable being exactly who they were created to be and to experience the world at their own pace. they have helped to instill in my boys a love of learning - a foundation that will forever serve them well.

thank you so very much to these two amazing ladies for being our boys' very first teachers! thank you for loving them and always seeking the very best for them! we feel so privileged to have been apart of fletcher miller school!

ms. johnson, harrison's first grade teacher

and then there's this lady.

we hit the jackpot with this one.

ms. johnson is a gifted teacher with the unique ability to accept each child just as they come and mold them to be more of who they truly are. not changing them, just developing them. it has been so very heart-warming to see how harrison has blossomed while in her class. ms. johnson made him feel safe and comfortable - with her, with himself and with others - and helped him grow in self-confidence, peer interaction, imaginative thinking and sense of humor.

she has a keen eye, an open heart and a quick wit. she can be goofy with the kids, she can be firm with the kids. she implements routines and yet quickly adapts to suit each child's needs. she makes teaching - the toughest job in the world? aside from motherhood? but teachers really are moms to their students so... - look so easy. that's how good she is.

thank you so very much to ms. johnson for teaching our sweet harrison this past year. thank you for investing time and energy to get to know him and his special quirks. thank you for loving him just as he is and for being a guiding light for him to follow as he navigated all-day school. we are so thankful for you!



and now i must share with you a photo of the graduate:

my little preschool graduate

it's off to kindergarten!!

i'm already praying for our 2014-15 school teachers, they have some tough shoes to fill!

take me away

although today is not the first day of no school it is the first monday of no school and i gotta be honest (you know i always am), summer is trying to kill me.

i took both boys along to the grocery store this morning.

that was not fun. not fun at all.


then we went to the dentist and i actually enjoyed my teeth cleaning (while the boys were in other parts of the office having their teeth cleaned) because it meant it p.e.a.c.e.

that's saying a lot.

then we came home and i let them watch a movie even though i told them there would be no t.v. for the rest of the day. but i had to turn on the t.v. because mama needed a moment (yes another one) of p.e.a.c.e.

don't worry, i told them my decision to allow them to watch t.v. was because i was showing them grace, which is what god gives us, so i managed to work in a bible lesson AND cover my arse.

all they've done all day is beg for food.

i really don't know how they can be so hungry nor do i think i have the mental capacity or patience to think about one more snack.

and so...

here's what i'm longing for today...

daytona beach.

anyone care to join me?