lunch with friends...and other tidbits

i met amy and chelsea at whole foods today for a quick lunch.  we love their salad bar - really healthy and so much variety!  it's always great to get away from the office and participate in some down-home girl talk!  and they are two of the most positive, up-lifting, yet REAL people i know here in denver.  good times. 

only four more days of work and then i'm done, done, done.  of course, then the real work begins. no such thing as a "stay at home" mom.  i think it should be coined a "work at home" mom.  and i must admit i'm a bit nervous to begin my new full-time job.  i expect it to be the hardest, but most rewarding, thing i'll ever do. 

harrison has been doing some very cute things lately.  he plays a sweet little version of hide and seek.  or maybe it's a graduate version of peek-a-boo.  in either case, he'll crawl behind the chairs in the living room and he'll wait there until i come "find" him.  makes my face smile and my heart melt!  

and now he KNOWS when he's doing something cute.  he especially picks up on it when i laugh at him.  he stops what he is doing, turns to face me, and gives me a huge eye-squinting grin.  the kind that says, "you think i'm SO cute and i know it" or "i'm SO proud of myself because i made mama laugh".  frankly, who cares what he thinks or knows...i just want to freeze that cheesy grin forever!  : ) 

and, finally, probably due to all the recent "air-drying", harrison has found his winky.  this, in itself, is not all that exciting - to me or to harrison.  what IS funny is jer's reaction to harrison's new discovery!  i don't think i've ever seen a father more proud of his son.  i mean, what is it with men and their winkies????!!!  my mind will be forever baffled by this strange phenomena.

happy tuesday

thanks to 5 baking soda baths and too many diaper changes to count, harrison's bottom is now looking much better.  it's not cured, but progress has been made.  the rest of his body is completely rash-free now, so i cancelled his doctor's appointment.  why pay $20 to have the doctor tell me to do what i'm already doing?  we may need to visit a psychotherapist, however, because harrison is going to grow up having nightmares of his mean mother attempting to hold him down and spread ointment all over his tooshie.  the last 48 hours may have scarred him for life.

on a lighter note... i think my child grew three inches overnight. maybe baking soda is a growth stimulant?! : )  he woke up this morning with his toes peeking out through his pajamas!  

i'm never leaving town again!

well, i survived!  and so did my boys.  they did experience very good daddy/baby bonding time. HOWEVER....harrison has developed the worst diaper rash known to man.  i could detail my frustrations about this, but i'll refrain.  i'll just say this... is it impossible to pick up the phone and dial the 24-hour nurse hotline to get help while mom's away???!!!

so, turns out, it's not just a simple diaper rash.  it's a yeast infection. which is now spreading all over harrison's body.  i am home from work today because harrison needs to have his diaper changed every hour, complete with air-drying the tooshie and applying the appropriate ointment (depending on what i find when i change the diaper).  also, he needs to be bathed in baking soda and water three times a day. followed by another "air-dry" and ointment application. seriously.

needless to say, my little "get-away" (which really was NOT a get-away by any stretch) is now LONG GONE.

hi ho, hi ho...

it's off to vail i go.

i've been planning a ski event for my brokers, their colleagues, and our clients - a large group of high-level real estate execs from across the nation.  it starts tomorrow.  although this is an annual event, the coordinating still kicks me in the butt each time.  i am TIRED!  and the "fun" has only begun...

harrison and jer are going to grandma and papa's house while i'm away.  i'm sure some separation anxiety will occur.  for me - not for harrison.  : )  i'm having a really difficult time with the thought of being away for 4 days.  i guess we'll just see how it goes.  denver is only 2 hours back down the mountain if i just HAVE to watch him sleep, or give him kisses, or tickle his belly, or wake him up in the morning with singing...  don't know if my brokers would be too thrilled with that, though. 

maybe if i "whistle while i work" it will make the time go faster...

life, liberty, and the pursuit...

i often wonder what profession harrison will choose when he grows up.  i think harrison ottley white is a very presidential name. certainly more so than barak or mitt.  but i digress. 

i'm sure there's no way to really tell where his interests lie at this point...but a mother can dream, right?  he has so many random fascinations!  his most recent obsession is my teeth.  yes, MY teeth!  i can't keep his hands out of my mouth.  and, of course, he thinks it is SO funny to... gingerly touch, probe a little deeper, and out-and-out GRAB my bottom teeth and pull!  

so, i've convinced myself that he's going to be a dentist someday. even better, an orthodontist or oral surgeon! : )  

this theory, however, does not apply to the days when he is obsessed with the garbage can...

and in other interesting news...on harrison's 10-month birthday (valentine's day) he took 19 steps.  and he has not stopped taking steps since.  and he's finally eating solid foods, too.  it's like the kid has been eating solids for months!  ...i am PRAYING that potty training goes this easily!  (for all you seasoned moms who are laughing hysterically right now...i hear you...just let me rest in my ignorant bliss for a while).  : ) 

got grace?

this week i had two instances of major hurt feelings.  the first occurred because of a reunion (of sorts) with an old friend; who, way back when, made me feel betrayed and belittled.  it's crazy how all those feelings came back when i saw her again!  i have a whole other life...a family...so much to be thankful for!  and, yet, that deep seated hurt is still there.

the second occurred today when i found out a family member lied to me.  and, even worse, it was a deliberate lie - for no other reason than to "stick it to me".  that REALLY hurt!  and it has yet to be resolved.  i'm sure the resolving will not be easy, but hopefully it will avoid any of those life-long-lasting deep seated feelings.

sometimes life is not so fun.  some days people are not so nice.  i suppose, whether old or new, intentional or unintentional, whether on the giving end or the receiving end...hurt feelings are just part of it. after all, we are only human.  sinners.  thank God we are saved by grace!

words cannot express how thankful i am for grace!  i know i need it.  i know i'm nothing without it.  now i just need to be willing to bestow it on others.  Lord, help me.

baby steps

harrison turns 10 months on valentine's day - four days away.  jer and i have started talking about what we want to do for his first birthday.  where has the time gone??  he has started taking occasional little steps on his own.  (in the picture above he is "walking" toward the camera.  hence, the blurriness...and the happy grin).  tonight, he took three distinct steps toward papa (jer's dad).  it is so exciting!  and i am so overwhelmingly proud of him!  but, at the same time, i'm not ready for him to walk.  i want my sweet baby back.  the precious boy who never squirmed out of my arms...who fell alseep on my chest...who let me change his diaper without reaching for toys and squealing with delight when he can get away for a quick naked run (crawl) around the room...  : )  

don't get me wrong, naked runs are pretty darn cute!  but i feel like since the moment i gave birth to harrison i've been in a process of letting him go.  you know, cheering on the developmental stages, fostering his independence, teaching him to do things on his own...all things that good moms are supposed to do.  but all these things are the foundations of "letting go", aren't they?

maybe that's why i LOVED being pregnant so much.  i soaked up every second of it.  i didn't want to birth harrison.  i loved it when he kicked - which was all the time.  i wanted to keep him inside of me - all to myself - forever.  maybe if it had been summertime during my last trimester i wouldn't have felt that way?! : )  

i suppose all this contemplation is just a reminder to live in each moment.  enjoy the baby steps along the way...  be grateful for where we are at now - today.  don't be in a rush.  i have a friend who reminded me of this recently.  i am blessed to have a happy, healthy little boy...  i may FEEL like it's a process of letting go, but i don't have any idea what letting go really means.  my boy is here with me, and i get to look into his beautiful eyes and share a sweet smile anytime i want.  maybe i shouldn't confuse "letting go" with growing up.  after all, a little independence is a good thing.  it doesn't have to mean i'm letting go of harrison.  it can mean i'm teaching him in the way he should go...

super harrison

i know that harrison is awake in the mornings when i hear him banging on the walls of his crib. it is his happy way of saying "let me out!  let me out"!  i always go in to find him with a huge smile on his face.  

this morning was one of the best yet.  last night i put one of my tank tops in his crib with him. (i usually put a t-shirt in...and, yes, i got this idea from a friend who was trying to crate train her new puppy. something about the scent of mama makes for a peaceful night.) anyway, last night it was a tank top.  jeremy and i found him this morning, standing in his crib, with his arms through the arm holes of the tank top!  both arms! (as if he was putting on a coat) ...and the length of the tank top hung down his back and dragged on the floor behind him like a cape.  i have no idea how he accomplished such a feat, but it was the sweetest, cutest moment!

jer and i rolled with laughter, which made harrison even more happy.  he was so proud.  of course, he didn't know WHY he was proud, which made it even more endearing.  

so now i have awesome ideas for future halloween costumes!  super harrison, bat harrison, what other super heros wear capes??

if only i had the camera... because the picture would be worth more than all these words.  i sure did need that laugh this morning.  what a way to start the day!