Saturday, August 16, 2008

sometimes i speak before thinking

jer & i dropped harrison off at grammy & papa's house this afternoon because we are going to a concert tonight.  and the ability to sleep in tomorrow morning will be quite lovely.  on the way home from their house, we stopped at the furniture store.  we are finishing our basement so we need some new pieces to fill the space.  

something interesting happened while we were there.  of course we were approached by numerous sales people.  most walked away when we told them we were just looking.  one, however, seemed to hang around...waiting for his opportunity. 

so, tyler (that was his name), began into his spiel about why we should NOT buy a sleeper sofa. he suggested buying a regular sofa and, then, purchasing an air mattress for when guests come over.  never mind that this scenario really doesn't have anything to do with our furniture needs or wants.  what i was REALLY turned off by was this line:  "when i was in high school, my girlfriend was 90 pounds and i was 180 pounds.  when we would sleep on an air mattress it would tilt unevenly".'s me...jaw on the floor...and i blurt out...loudly, "you were sleeping with your girlfriend when you were in high school??!!!"

tyler's face turned beet red.  and then he began to tell us about his life.  for the next 45 minutes. a part of his story included one of the most crude, disgusting, totally inappropriate jokes i've ever heard in my life.  

sidenote:  jer had completely tuned out tyler by this point.  he totally missed the nasty joke. when i, hesitantly, repeated it to him on the way home, he was absolutely appalled.  sometimes i wish i had the manly ability to tune everything out.

it was all pretty horrible, really.  i was ready to RUN in the opposite direction.  but i did my best to smile and be encouraging toward him.

after prying ourselves out of tyler's super human salesman grip, we left the store.  and we were, pretty much, silent the whole way home.  the situation just wasn't right, you know?  it was weird. 

so here's the thing.  i'm not dumb.  i know that LOTS of people have sex while they are in high school.  i was not one of them - for which i very thankful - but don't get me wrong, i have done many, many things that i should not have done.  i've made lots of wrong choices.  my intention was not to come across as judgmental toward tyler.  i don't want to be the girl who is appalled by someone's past.  i'm a believer in "all things can be made new" and "everyone deserves a second chance". 

after thinking about it, the thing that bothered me about what tyler said...the thing that made my jaw drop...was that he was so very casual about mentioning something that is so foreign to me.  for someone to simply "throw out there" (during a sales pitch, no less....and to strangers!) that kind of personal information...without forethought, without hesitation, without shame, without's just SO FAR from what i would do.

it showed me that my beliefs are not shared by everyone.  

it made me sad.  

in the end, though, i don't regret my little outburst.  i suppose, if nothing else, it's good for tyler to know that there are people in the world who don't think sex in high school is a "normal" thing.  

sigh.  there's many more thoughts i could spill out...but i'm tired of "digesting" the situation. and i need a nap before the show tonight.  


Marci said...

As I was reading your story, this is what I was thinking:

Think of the people Jesus chose to have conversations with. . . .ie adulterers (John 4:1-26), thieves (Luke 19), etc. I used to try to avoid people who were different than me because it appalled me too. But then I realized that these people are simply prisoners to Satan's lies and they need Jesus to set them free. Many times we are the only Jesus that they get to see.

So, I am glad you had this encounter. . .and hope that you have many more in your future. You may be the only Jesus that these appalling people ever get to see.

Dalene said...


The unconrtollable and accidental outbursts of a pregnant woman!!!! these are some of the best memories of my life.

Why do we feel that we can't be honest with the world re: our opinions on these things? Are we not on the side of Truth!?! Well said! My hubbie would most likely FIRE a salesman who felt that sort of approach was even REMOTELY appropriate.

Keep up the pregnancy rants. They are entertaining and you're a doll. Did you hear me? A DOLL!!!

Please come to my house for some chocolate cake in September.