a real life conversation about father's day

the scene: sitting in the living room, trying to figure out what to get daddy for father's day.


me: okay, graham, you need to make a father's day gift for daddy.

graham: no i don't.

me: you don't?

graham: no. because do you remember a long time ago when i was born?

me: mmm hmm.

graham: yeah, so when i was born i was a gift. so i don't have to make him a gift because i'm already his gift.

you are everyone's gift, sweet boy.

you're also pretty knowledgable about how to get out of work...and definitely not lacking in self-esteem...i couldn't love you more.

quotes i love

with regard to exercise, lena dunham said, "it aint about the ass, it's about the brain."

amen, sister.


with regard to being overweight and still wearing a bikini, angela was quoted on the momastery blog saying, “Listen. I’m a little fat. I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about that because I’ve got stuff to do. So to make the world a better place, I wear this bikini to the pool. You know, so other women who DO worry about their weight will feel awesome in comparison. No skin off my nose. That’s my good deed. Done. Check.”

i love that so much.


from the book essentialism by greg mckeown (quote found at hollywoodhousewife.com), "When people believe that their efforts at work don’t matter, they tend to respond in one of two ways. Sometimes they check out and stop trying, like the mathematically challenged child. The other response is less obvious at first. They do the opposite. They become hyperactive. They accept every opportunity presented. They throw themselves into every assignment. They tackle every challenge with gusto. They try to do it all. This behavior does not necessarily look like learned helplessness at first glance. After all, isn’t working hard evidence of one’s belief in one’s importance and value? Yet on closer examination we can see this compulsion to do more is a smokescreen. These people don’t believe they have a choice in what opportunity, assignment, or challenge to take on. They believe they “have to do it all.”

this hits true to home when i think of how hard my hubby works (and why???).


on motherhood, julie beck said, "Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all.

yup.

on pain and hurt, glennon doyle melton says, "i believe that life starts when we stop running from pain and instead surrender to it. we can't remain on the lam from pain forever. the running and deflecting and numbing always cause more trouble than the pain would have. healing begins when we stop running and turn ourselves in."

i agree.

have you read any good quotes lately?

(image source)

the two year post-therapy mark

my oldest boy and i snuggled together this morning, taking turns sneezing and wiping sleep from our eyes. he watched cartoons, i sipped coffee. he wiggled around, taking his time getting situated and comfortable. he rested his head on my chest then slid down to lay his head on my hip. he rearranged my arms and placed them where he wanted them, where they felt best. he fidgeted with my fingers. he told me to squeeze him harder. i stayed there with him and complied.

cuddles aren't his favorite thing. typically i ask him for a hug or say "do you want to snuggle with me" and let him decide whether to oblige. i can get away with a pat on his back or a kiss on the top of his head but prolonged affection is not a regular occurrence.

but this morning there was no asking.

he simply sat down next to me and leaned in.

he offered himself.

all i had to do was open my arms to accept the gift.

.............

the truth is i've gotten plenty of snuggles from this boy; enough that i don't feel deprived or like a part of our relationship is lacking. but still, i do not ever take them for granted. i'm keenly aware in those moments that cuddling with this kid is a privilege.

it's because he trusts me.

he feels comfortable being himself with me.

i feel honored.

..............

this summer is the two year anniversary of harrison's graduation from STAR center. this is what i wrote about the one year anniversary.

you may have noticed, i've stopped blogging about sensory processing disorder. it's been a purposeful decision. it's one part because there just isn't as much emotion for me to release, one part because there just aren't as many sensory issues to talk about, two parts because my sweet boy is getting older and while i'm still likely to write about him and the things we do together, i want to be more careful about exposing the serious stuff to the world.

it's his story to tell.

if he wants to, when he wants to.

................

but what i would like to say is this: i am so stinkin thankful i get to be a mom to this boy. i adore who he is. i love every little snippet of his personality. i am in awe at the amazing things he does.

he is just such a great kid! a smart boy, a brave boy, a loving boy, a kind boy, a strong boy, an honest boy, an active boy.

yes, he's a boy who gets motion sickness. he's a boy who hates handwriting. he's a boy who makes the term picky-eater an understatement. he's a boy can rarely catch a football.

but there is not one single sensory issue that hinders who he is as a person. 

he is not an either/or situation. he is not one thing in spite of the others. he is all the things.

my son is a mixture of so many beautiful characteristics which mesh together to create a masterpiece so stunning that sometimes, just by looking at him, it brings tears to my eyes.

life lately

we've slept at the condo twelve nights in a row. that's the longest stretch we've ever stayed here i think. in some ways it's weird to not have a house in the city to go home to. in some ways it's lovely to fully commit to mountain living. mostly i miss our friends and neighbors.

we were blessed to have some sweet friends drive up to see us today. we met them at the park, ate lunch together, went for a hike and even carved out a few minutes to swim. we managed to cram an entire day into a few hours and it was really fun.

jeremy had to work yesterday (sunday) so the boys and i drove over the dam road (dillon reservoir), parked along the side of the road (where the locals do) and walked to a fantastic spot on the shore of the lake. we played there for a couple hours, building rock sculptures, digging out and filling up a moat, skipping rocks, and even following a pair of moose tracks that were left in the wet sand not long before we arrived. i left my phone in the car on purpose so no pictures.

that afternoon while the boys were resting i went out for a solo walk, half way down buffalo mountain and then halfway back up. it was three miles exactly, but more uphill than down because of the route i took. my legs were very happy to reach home.

saturday night the boys thought it would be a good time to set up a tent in the middle of the living room. we had to stack the ottomans onto the couch and push the couch back a couple feet (blocking the entrance to the bathroom which was super convenient) to make it fit.

here's a family bedtime selfie. harrison didn't want to act silly with us so he hid behind his book.

they slept uneventfully through the night and woke up happy! although graham did take a two hour nap sunday afternoon so i'm not sure it was the best quality sleep. of course now they want to keep the tent up forever. lord help me.

in other news, harrison and graham have been at each other's throats. perhaps it's the transition of moving that's been difficult on them? or all the tv watching they'd been doing? or now living in a 700 square foot condo? whatever the case my new policy is to assign chores each and every time they fight. it seems to be working so far but i'll keep you posted.

i have also been doing my best to provide plenty of activities to keep us busy...and some separate play time too. psalm 133:1 how good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity. it truly is so beautiful when they get along!

these two brothers, born on easter sunday, seems live together pretty well...

see their cute little side-by-side tooshies?  these guys live just up the block from our old house in denver.

well, i'm off to cook some dinner. steak and salad with blue cheese dressing (for jeremy because blue cheese is just ew).

later taters.

our first hike of the season - lily pad trail 2015

saturday morning, june 6th, found us hiking to lily pad pond. 

there is a steep vertical at the trailhead but the view at the top is worth it and once you make that initial ascent the rest of the hike is easy.

at the top of that first climb we were greeted by a patch of snow and walking sticks. we each gladly grabbed a stick and left them behind in the same spot when we were finished.

this is what it's like when we hike...

graham is waaaaaaay up front, usually so much so that i cannot see him...

and jer and harrison bring up the rear. 

i stay mostly tucked in the middle, taking photos of things like these curlicue branches.

we meander quite a bit. i mean, other hikers get up and back before we even get up, know what i'm sayin? we stop to look at birds and build rock sculptures and investigate animal poop (mostly dog, occasionally deer, rarely moose) and take photos and have drink/snack breaks and complain about our feet and beg for piggyback rides. 

our favorite part is BRIDGES!

and signs!

cute boys.

when you get to the end of the trail there is a small pond full of lily pads and a separate, larger lake. the lake is in the background in the jeremy's and my selfie above. jer was squeezing my toosh. that's why he's smiling so big. usually he smiles like this...

i should let him grab my arse more often, huh? 

and those, my friends, were the best moments from our hike to lily pad pond.

my morning walk

the forecast suggested rain so i laced up my sneakers early.

the air was brisk, my pace not so much. 

the trails were muddy from last night's storm so i stuck to the streets.

i chose a direction i hadn't traveled before. 

there's the summit of buffalo mountain. 

maybe one day i'll be brave enough to hike to it. 

i found this guy walking nearby. 

when he spotted me he stopped and posed. 

i know they say wise old owl and clever as a fox but this guy seemed wise. 

to my ways, at least.

there were twisty trees.

ouch i've got a kink in my back.

there were scenic views.

there was a curved road that lead me back toward home. 

there was even a secret shortcut. 

but i walked right on past. 

why curtail the morning's offering? 

a walk along mountain roads is surely a privilege.

but everyone has trees and rocks. 

dew and dandelions don't discriminate. 

beauty is all around us. 

get outside and soak some up.

where oh where has my iphoto gone? and other questions about life

i could have sworn i had uploaded some images (christmas photos maybe?) and edited them on my macbook air but now the only photo software i can find is called photos (not iphoto) and it has jackcrap in the way of editing ability. so i'm bewildered.

was iphoto ever on this laptop? was that only in my imagination?

these are the questions that plague me.

.......
i have a couple hundred photos from a family reunion last weekend that need to be edited. do i upload them to dropbox as is and let everyone edit their own? or do i make everyone wait until i can find my dang iphoto and actually sit down to process them before i upload?

it was a reunion for jer's side, by the way. his aunt jenny was in town from arkansas so the colorado cousins drove to denver and hung out for the afternoon. it was lovely.

a photo of the cousins. unedited of course.

.......
today we closed on our house in texas. we found out at the last minute that i had to drive down the mountain to wire transfer our closing funds in person. not convenient. i jumped into the car, made the drive, transferred the money and drove back up the hill just in time to meet jeremy at the title company.

we signed the documents and went on our merry way. rather anti-climactic if you ask me.

does this mean we are officially texans??

.......
when we got back up to the condo the conversation went like this:

me: well boys we just bought a house. that's what we were doing when we signed all those papers.
graham: i know.
me: so now you'll have a yard to play in.
harrison: but it's not a big yard.
me: it's big enough for a dog and a trampoline.
harrison: but it's not big.
me: let's just see how big you think it is when you're the one who has to mow it.

sigh.

haters gonna hate.

did i just quote taylor swift?

.......
today was national donut day but it was a bummer for us because no donut shops in summit county offered freebies. i did take the boys to city market to get a discounted donut (25 cents is about as close to free as you can get...but it's a grocery store donut, not a donut shop donut) so the day was (somewhat) redeemed.

what i'd really like to know, though, is when the heck will it be national gluten-free donut day? huh? anyone?

help a sister out.

.......
this page from charlotte's web - a conversation between sheep and rat - is one of the best things i've read ever.

do you agree?

.......
we bought a new hummingbird feeder for the condo but the poor dears cannot figure out how to eat from it. they fly up and hover for a few seconds only to fly away confused. i'm sure they're humming secret messages to their friends about how lame our balcony is.

why in the world can't the hummingbird feeder design people create a feeder that is both functional and beautiful?



i do believe that's all the randomness in my head this evening. i hope you lovelies have a fantastic weekend. and if you've got answers for any of my crazy questions - and especially if you know where i can get a gluten-free donut - leave me a comment! lord knows i could use all the help i can get.

life has been cray-cray around here

what's been up here at the white house is that we decided not to build a house, started searching for an existing home to buy in the denver metro area, worked toward getting our townhouse sale-ready, listed our townhouse, sold our townhouse, entertained the idea of moving to the dallas metro area instead of staying in denver, took a trip to dallas to check it out, bought a house in dallas, worked toward packing up and moving out of our townhouse and now, finally, we are spending the month of june at our condo waiting until the big move to texas.

all while finishing out the school year.

april and may were a whirlwind.

i ate all the bad things.  i did not exercise. i did not read. the children did not read. no one read. but there was a whole lotta tv-watching going on.

..................

but now here we are in paradise. enjoying the fresh mountain air, soaking up the sunshine, listening to the hummingbirds whiz by the balcony, eating a bit healthier, getting some exercise, playing and swimming together and watching less tv.

we do have an ipad addiction that is causing havoc (just ask the g-man who had to go to bed early last night because he disobediently, sneakily played on the tablet).

i still haven't read anything but the kids are reading again so baby steps.

...................

the boys and i took a walk through the national forest land that's across the street from our condo this morning. i took a couple photos of the tipi-like structures i discovered this past winter. it's cool to see them in spring...

spring

winter. this is one of my favorite photos ever.

spring

winter, view from the opposite direction. i promise it's the same structure - crazy how much the snow covers!!

i am so thankful for june. what a blessing to be able to take life a little slower this month!