however...life changes are a different story. i'm talking about those major transitions that, actually, change your life. thus, you must change along with them. sure, most of the time, you have a choice about the impending change. getting married. moving to a new city. having a baby. leaving the workforce. but, even though you made a decision to make a change, the actually changing takes time.
i should have realized my issues with change years ago! leaving my stable, happy life in bartlesville and getting married, moving to denver, starting a new job, finding a new church, making new friends (all at once!)....well, it put me in a tailspin. my poor husband. it wasn't much fun for him to go to bed with a newlywed wife who cried herself to sleep each night. i am so very blessed that he was so immensely supportive! it took a good six months to become acquainted and adjusted to my new life.
this most recent change (staying home full-time) doesn't seem like that big a deal. i love being with harrison! and i love being at home! but, still, i'm beginning to notice some "symptoms" of the "life-change blues". for example, i haven't made a home-cooked meal in weeks. i've been sleeping 10 hours at night and still feel tired during the day (is it possible to get too much sleep?). i am not keeping the house as clean as i normally do. i dropped out of my college class because i just couldn't motivate myself to complete it. i haven't blogged in what seems like a LONG time.
it's just those little differences that are whispering to me, "you're not quite yourself right now".
i guess it is good that i'm now noticing these things and can work on them. isn't acceptance the first step in any recovery program? so...i accept my difficulties with change. but i'm also going to cut myself some slack and allow myself the time to "get back to normal". whatever my new normal may be....