Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Christmas Decorations

Well, I finished decorating the tree yesterday evening and we already have two ornament casualties.  Let the tally begin!

During the holiday season I keep a tube of super-glue on alert at the Kitchen Counter Trauma Center.  Boys + Christmas ornaments = lots of super-glued fingers for doctor-mom.  If I was a gambling woman I'd bet we'll treat no less than 15 patients this year.  

I have a confession to make - you are going to think I'm an awful mom.  Please try not to judge.

Here it is: I did NOT let the boys help me put ornaments on the tree.

And it's not because I was worried they would break things.  It's because I have terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Ornament Placement OCD.

In fact, now that I'm looking at the above photo, I'm feeling some hypertension about the letter H.  It's hanging too low for my liking.  And there's too much of an empty green patch above it.  As soon as I finish this post I'll rehang it.

Seriously, people.
It's a legitimate syndrome, you know.  The symptoms appear when provoked by offers of decorating help and, worse, daring to help without asking and, even worse, when decorating does not go as planned.  Symptoms may include grouchiness, bossiness, sneakiness and profuse sweating.

Here's the bad part: The boys kept asking and asking if they could help.  I kept telling them no.  Then when I finally conceded and handed them a few non-breakable ornaments to hang, I lectured them within an inch of their lives about where they were allowed to hang them.  And then after they hesitantly hung them, I rearranged them anyway.

I know.


The entire time I was doing this the narrative in my head went something like this: Rachel, this is not a big deal.  You are stealing their joy.  They just want to help.  What's the harm in having 6 snowflakes right next to each other?  

You will be the only one who notices that the puffball snowmen aren't facing forward.  

Why are you so bothered when all the birds are facing the same direction?  That's how birds fly, Rachel!  Just let the little birds flock together!  Your children are going to grow up and have ornament OCD just like you.  Stop the insanity!

But I just couldn't stop.

I wish I was one of those moms who give their kiddos free reign over the tree decorating.  I am so envious of them!  And I'm certain their trees look beautiful!

But not as beautiful as mine.

I know.


I ought to check myself into the Kitchen Counter Trauma Center.  Maybe sniffing the super-glue would help me relax!

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