1. it's hard to get out of bed in the morning.
2. you stay in your pajamas all day.
3. when you do get out of your pajamas, you put on yoga pants, which is the socially acceptable equivalent to pajama pants.
4. you've worn real clothes and applied make-up only one time in the past three weeks, maybe longer.
5. you have become sedentary.
6. you have eaten an entire bag of bbq potato chips. in less than 24 hours.
7. you have gained weight.
8. you have caught yourself saying "i'm too tired to..." about lots of things.
okay. so, most of these things can simply be chalked up to motherhood. how bout these...
9. you have caught yourself saying "i don't have the energy to..." about
lots of things, but mostly with regard to any kind of decision-making. you are d.o.n.e. making decisions.
10. you have turned down invitations, cancelled plans, avoided phone calls.
11. you started paying your children to make your bed instead of doing it yourself.
12. you are being more forgetful than usual.
13. you have realized you are WALKING THROUGH YOUR LIFE IN A DAZE. for example,
a. you forget your son's backpack (including his snack).
b. you drive around all morning with said backpack in the passenger seat next to you and still didn't realize you forgot to give him his backpack until you pull into the school parking lot to pick him up.
c. you walk in to the school, apologize for forgetting his snack, and the teacher tells you that you actually carried the backpack on your shoulder into the school that morning, and then right back out of the school. you tossed the backpack onto the passenger seat and drove off. you remember none of this.
d. you make your weekly trip to the grocery store, get home, do some chores...whatever...and it's not until you get back in the car 1.5 hours later that you discover you never unloaded the groceries.
e. you forget to turn off the burner on the stove.
f. worse, you turn on the wrong burner.
g. you leave the house with the wrong burner on, expecting to come home to warm soup but discover, instead, that you've completely melted a plastic measuring cup.
h. you have to set an alarm in order to remember to pick up your children from school.
and the daily tasks have become so exhausting...
14. you realize your children are looking at you funny so you look in the mirror to discover that your inner hairy iranian has risen to the surface. girlfriend, you need to pluck those eyebrows, wax that lip, and stop frightening the children!
yes, plucking my eyebrows is a daily task. like i said, hairy iranian.
15. you serve lunch to your frightened children only to notice you never cleared the previous night's dinner plates, or the breakfast bowls, from the table.
16. your family is using disposable plastic cutlery because you simply cannot.get.off.the.couch.to.do.the.dishes.
so...i think i'm a wee bit depressed. what do they say? acceptance is the first step to recovery? if that's the case then, lord willing, this post will serve as the turning point and things should be improving soon.
one thing i know, this didn't come on overnight. and it won't get better overnight. but it will get better.
until then i'll be the one stuffing herself (and her feelings) with homemade reese's peanut butter cups and wallowing in the ever-growing mountain of laundry.