the news from our house...
1) both harrison and graham are scheduled to have their tonsils and adenoids removed on friday, march 21st. i requested a referral for them to see an otolaryngologist because harrison has had strep throat four times in four months and graham has had it three. they both snore and their tonsils are ginormous. also, for graham, his nasal passages are blocked and he constantly has to puff air out his nose so he can breathe through his nose (or he just breathes through his mouth, which i think it gross). he's getting an extra little procedure to decrease some nasal tissue. fun times, no?
2) last week harrison made a mean comment to a classmate, was reprimanded by his teacher (in an appropriate way) and apologized for what he said. it was a traumatic experience for him, one which sent him into sensory overload. he held it together all day at school but as soon as i picked him up i could see something was wrong. he looked absolutely exhausted. he started throwing a fit on the way home because graham kept talking and all the talking was making harrison crazy. as soon as we pulled into the garage harrison climbed forward and wedge himself on the floor of car, in front of the passenger seat, under the glove box. i immediately texted his teacher to say "what the heck?" and she described what happened.
i had to explain to his teacher that it was ALL THE FEELINGS that overwhelmed harrison (she was confused about what might have caused his meltdown).
think on it for a moment. how do you feel when you've hurt someone's feelings? when you've disappointed your teacher? when you did something wrong? had to humble yourself and apologize? those feelings are yucky. and when you are over-responsive to emotions, those yucky feelings are amplified. and when your brain continually replays the event inside your head and you focus on those amplified yucky feelings all day long, there is no option left but to freak out when you get home. if you or i went through something like that we'd go get a beer or glass of wine (or chocolate in my case) and wash those blues away. all harrison wanted to do was curl up into a tight space and squeeze those feelings away. my sweet boy.
3) yesterday morning graham took four pennies from the grocery store's horsey ride. (does your grocer have a one cent horsey ride?) i didn't find out about it until late afternoon when he pulled the pennies from his pocket. i gasped and watched his little face change as he immediately realized he had done something wrong. (or maybe he realized he was caught doing something wrong. either way, there was a realization).
i had to explain to him "do you know what it's called when you take something that does not belong to you? it's called stealing. you stole that money."
then both my boys started crying. sigh.
what was interesting about this event was 1) having just made a mistake a few days prior, harrison was able to console graham and even said, "i know how that feels. it'll get better". it was a full circle moment for harrison. i was proud of him. 2) it conjured up a vivid memory and the associate emotions from a time when i stole a pair of earrings from a hospital gift shop and was made to return them. it would seem thievery runs in the family. 3) watching graham return those pennies and apologize to the store manager this morning was a tough mommy moment for me.
i have learned a lot in the past week.
i have learned that serious life lessons apparently start at age five.
i have learned some rules about mistakes, which i passed on to my boys.
i have learned that it's very easy to do the wrong thing. one doesn't have to go looking for trouble. trouble is right there, everywhere, waiting to be noticed.
i have learned that doing the right thing is really hard.
even for an almost 37 year old wife and mom of two.