Monday, January 7, 2013

good morning, monday!

my morning began with a call to poison control.  somehow, during the time after jer left for work and before i got out of bed, graham managed to eat ten cough drops.  thankfully, they were luden's brand which are more candy than cough suppressant and nurse alyssa said he will be fine but may develop a tummy ache.  i hung up the phone and proceeded to lecture the boys regarding the dangers of medicine.  graham cried.  i told him to stop.  i'm such a compassionate mother.

we played around the house this morning with new christmas toys, some of which are more beloved than others.  then the boys got out the ski gear.  harrison strapped on jer's heavy north face backpack and wore it around while they pretended to climb mountains (go up the stairs) and ride the gondola (sit inside our huge grey ski bags).  then they took turns zipping each other completely inside the ski bags.  remember when you were small enough to fit inside a ski bag?  yeah, me neither.  this carried on for more than an hour which proves my point that we no longer need to buy them christmas gifts.  the plain old household stuff wins out every time.  then they put on their helmets and goggles and we went to target.

we were briefly interrupted by our sweet old chinese neighbor who couldn't figure out why her car wouldn't start.  i walked over, tried to start her car and discerned, in all my automotive knowledge, that her battery needed a jump.  i walked back to our garage, buckled up the helmeted boys and maneuvered our car into her garage and proceeded to use jumper cables as if i do it all the time.  then i said a prayer - please don't let me blow us all to smithereens - and cranked the engine.  success!  she and i cheered and hugged like we had just done the impossible and went our separate ways.  but not before she ran inside and brought out a little gift she had brought home from her recent trip back to china.  candy for the boys.  spicy seafood flavor.  which proves my point about why chinese people are so skinny - their candy sucks.  maybe i should introduce her to real candy... like luden's cherry cough drops.

at target my boys rode around in the supersize cart while wearing ski helmets and goggles.  which proves my point that you can take the boys away from the ski slopes but you can't take the ski slopes away from the boys.  or something like that.  and, no, i didn't get a picture.  i'm an idiot.  in fact, i went to target for one very specific reason - to get 3-prong folders for harrison's new school.  i managed to spend fifty-six dollars and get all the way home only to realize i did not buy the dang folders!  which proves my point that i'm an idiot.  and also proves my point that target is quite brilliant at manipulating time and money out of stay at home moms all across america.

i once knew a girl who went to target every day during her three month maternity leave simply because she needed to get out of the house.  and, of course, target is a very welcoming home away from home.  she managed to give target more than a thousand dollars during that period.  my home away from home during my maternity leave was the food network.  i may have grown some inappropriate attachments to their stars but at least it was free.

while were at target the boys asked if i would take them to the lego aisle.  no prob, bob.  we headed that direction and harrison spied one of the lego sets he's been in love with for quite a while, a red airplane.  he said, "maybe i can get a job cleaning people's houses and earn money to buy that lego".  i said, "you want to clean people's houses?"  he said, "yeah.  ya know, helping them with their chores and stuff.  and they will pay me money."  i said, "maybe you can start by cleaning your house and doing your own chores."  he said nothing.  then i said, "you can help me with my chores and i'll pay you money."  he still said nothing.  i guess maybe he thinks it's more fun to clean someone else's house and do someone else's chores.

one other thing happened over the weekend - our mac died.  apparently my incredibly smart computer guy knows how to fix it but he thinks it's only a temporary fix and we should start looking at new models.  i'm currently writing to you from my old ibook g4, which is like taking a trip down memory lane.  this laptop and i have been through lots of fun times!  jeremy bought her for me for my birthday seven years ago.  he also got himself a computer.  for my birthday.  he's so generous.  before he met me, jer was a PC guy all the way.  we always joke that i brought two things to the marriage - a love for apple computers and american express credit cards - and he was forever changed because of it.  for the better, mind you.  he brought something to the marriage too - a love for guacamole - for which i will be eternally grateful.  so, he is now scoping out a new mac for us.  i'll let ya know what transpires.

my boys are just about finished watching a show on pbs (sid the science kid, i believe), which has been the one reason i've actually been able to type in semi-coherent sentences.  i better finish up here quick.  my floors are covered in ski gear, toy dinosaurs and remnants of playdough.  there's laundry in the dryer, washer and piled on the laundry room floor.  there are dishes.  oh, the dishes!  i suppose that proves my point that i, too, think it's more fun to clean someone else's house and do someone else's chores.

i guess i'll just have to pretend i'm someone else.

hmmm.  who should i be?

the boys are upstairs now, sitting next to me.  i asked them who i should pretend to be...

graham says "an astronaut"

harrison says "yogurt"

lord help me.

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