Monday, March 11, 2013

our STAR visits - 3/4-3/8

this past week we went to STAR twice. on wednesday we went to participate in a study. if i understand it correctly, the spd foundation is attempting to create a new evaluation test. i guess it's been something like ten years of research that is finally nearing the end. i don't know much more than that, sorry.

a lotta help i am.

i was in the room with harrison for a little while and watched as he did some of the "activities". he had to touch different things, stare at different things, try to complete some worksheets while the researcher was distracting him, listen to loud noises and decipher different things...

about half way through graham decided he didn't want to be in the room any more and asked to leave. but, of course, as soon as we got out into the hall he wanted to go back in. tough luck, little man. the researcher was so sweet to let both boys play in the big gym for a few minutes after harrison was done with the research activities. it was a great way to end the appointment.

our second appointment was last friday afternoon. graham stayed with a sitter while harrison and i went to STAR. as we were driving i commented that he had better get used to this drive because, soon, we will be making it quite frequently. harrison replied back something about how he was going to "grow up" during his time at STAR. i told him not to grow up too quickly.

but i don't think that's the type of growing up he was referring to.

he also made comments about "building his muscles" and "moving his body a lot". when you put it all together, i think his words "grow up" were more to do with the changes that may be occurring in him and his body over the next few months as we do therapy.

it's clear to me he knows we are doing this for a reason, but it's not clear to him exactly what that reason is.

he has also made comments about how "someday when graham gets bigger he'll get to go to STAR too" to which i say, "maybe".

for today we are leaving the conversation just as it is/was. no further explanation needed. tomorrow, though? well, let's just take each day (and conversation) as they come, shall we?

the intention of friday's visit was to videotape harrison and me playing together, just as we would do at home. the goal is to be able to provide me feedback about how i can better interact with my son. oh lordy. first of all, i have to say playing at STAR is quite different from playing at home. as much as you try to act like you're at home, it's just not the same. so there's that. secondly, i was not excited to be videotaped. nor am i excited to watch myself on videotape. nor am i excited to hear someone tell me what i could have done differently while watching myself on videotape.

but the end goal is information and education and transformation, right?

socrates said, "the unexamined life is not worth living". if this helps me learn more and interact better then the momentary discomfort is well worth it.

so bring on the analysis, STAR!

our next appointment is for me alone, when i'll receive feedback from harrison's and my home-esque play time and also have a counseling session. should be equal parts tear-me-down and build-me-up. kidding. just kidding. but, in case you couldn't tell, even with socrates in my corner, i'm still not excited about it.

i'll let ya know how it goes. 

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